Update on the semester so far....

So this is more of a journal entry...rather boring but meant more so I can remember. This semester has been an interesting one already so far. This semester I have five roommates, instead of three, which is kind of a huge change. Almost always having someone home is both a blessing and a curse. I have still been able to find my precious alone-time moments but they aren't as frequent as they used to be. Thus far there have been no dramatic moments and I am grateful for that.

School is school. I am determined to stop my procrastinating ways and actually get assignments done in a timely manner. So far it's a success but sometimes I get a little distracted...like right now when I'm sitting the library and instead of studying I'm blogging....oops.....I have officially chosen a major (psychology) and will hopefully finish in April 2010. I've also added a minor...yay??....because I took so many communications classes that I'm only three classes away. I need the credits anyway so why the heck not. Yes, I understand that psychology and communications aren't usually correlated together but....I'm just that special.

Work is work. I still work for Nikki...or Dave...or someone. I call medical billing my "real people" job. It's the impressive thing I can say to people about me. Though a series of very strange events I picked up a job at Comedy Sportz which is an improv comedy club in Provo. I do all of the menial labor there (picking up trash, taking reservations). Pretty much everytime I tell people about my two jobs I feel very odd. Talk about very different ends of the spectrum...once again I'm just that special.

So between 14-credits and 30 hours of work there isn't time for much else in life. I do find time to do some things with the family as well as trying to keep in contact with friends both near and far. Lots of fun updates to come I'm sure.....peace....

A little different kind of temple story.....

Today started like any other day....work, studying you know the usual college type stuff. That all changed when my roommate Tess and I decided to go the Provo temple and do baptisms. Normally in Provo, the process is pretty smooth. Depending on the crowds I have been in and out in about 20 minutes or so...not so tonight.

We got to the temple at around 4:15 after I picked Tess up from playing at one of my other roommate's voice lessons. We walked in and it seemed a little crowded but we weren't too worried because we both wanted a little time to think and just relax in the normally quiet waiting area. Soon after we arrived a ward came in with about 20 youth. I'm pretty sure it was just a Beehive and Deacon activity because they all seemed to be very young children. This caused me a little anxiousness because I knew the temple would put them ahead of all of the people who had just walked in. Not too much of a big deal so I continued to read and contemplate life. Things all changed once we went to do confirmations and the recorder decided that he wanted to give a little talk about the temple...quite loudly. I found out later that he was hard of hearing and so it made a little more sense...but it was still really odd. So we go along about 10 of us in the room just going through the process. After a few people come a new, younger guy comes in to do some of the confirmations...and wow...if he would have been in a race he would have won...he was going through names like he had someplace to be. I think I've come to the conclusion that this much just be part of his personality (you'll understand later).

So after that step we went back into the waiting area to wait for the actual baptism part. I go and sit by Tess who assures me that she was told by someone to sit there....the only problem was...it wasn't the right person apparently. Soon we see people who were confirmed after us go to the front of the chapel and sit in what was really the line for the baptistery . Finally, after about 6 people get in front of us in line we move up to the right line....the ward was still working on getting their boys through the line and for a moment we were content to sit for a moment again.

When we finally got called to go into the baptistery a whole new game began. To get from the waiting area to the baptismal font you have to go back through the dressing room...on our way through a temple worker stops us and tells Tess that she has earrings in and Tess assure her that it is okay because she has worn them before and there hasn't been a problem. Not happy the lady insists that they don't allow any jewelry in the font so Tess looks and me and then of course I have to have something wrong. For the sake of my sanity...I had chosen to put bobby pins in my hair...apparently not so much okay with this particular temple worker...ah...so close...so Tess and I headed back to our locker and put our contrabands away.

On our way back to the font there is a lady there looking desperately for a temple worker. Uhh....let's not really go into this part....we'll go with she needed a article of clothing and we helped her out....end of story...

Finally we get to the waiting bench. Only the problem now is that we have all of these couples coming in to do family names. First the wife goes (who was wearing her wedding ring...) and the husband baptizes and then a temple worker steps in and baptizes the husband. It was quite the process. Meanwhile, the people who are there on stand-by...at this point that's how it feels....keep moving up the bench down the bench. Right before you go into the font there are three chairs away from the benches...that's like golden territory because you are almost there...Tess got the to chairs and then they told us all to move back to the benches. It was an interesting move because one of the witnesses wanted us to move and the other rolled his eyes at him...I sense some hostility there....

Okay so we are sitting on the benches and all of the sudden this guys comes out from the men's locker room and heads down to the bottom of the font area. If you haven't been to the Provo temple....the font sits on the back of 12 oxen and the oxen are on like a different level than the normal floor. The benches were we were sitting are up on the top level and there is like a glass railing thing that keeps people from falling off....anyway...it's some random maintanance guy going to check on something. It was the straw that broke the camel's back....I am somewhat ashamed to say this but I start laughing histerically....quietly but histerically...my whole body was shaking and I was tearing up. Just so you know I'm not crazy Tess was laughing too. Meanwhile, I'm thinking "I've got to sing a hymn or something...Deep breaths..." Unfortunately the only song that came to mind was "In Our Lovely Deseret"....the chorus....hark hark hark tis children's music...the laughter continues....I finally regain myself and we move up...things are looking up for an ending to this experience...and then....

The girl two people in front of us was finally going when one of the witnesses tells her that she has to get out...confused and I think a little embarrassed she starts to get out when she realizes she has a bloody nose....I'm not talking like a single strand of blood here...it was like a fountain...the man hands her a towel and she of course bleeds on it...and the lady who hands out the towels freaks out like the towels are made of gold or something. The worker starts looking for a rag while this girl is standing there...wet, cold, bleeding profusly and I'm sure as embarrassed as heck. I can't help myself...laughter ensues...I mean seriously...this is insane.

Now this is a somewhat gross part and I hope that that girl's blood is clean....instead of cleaning the water like is normal procedure they just keep doing baptisms!!! The girl who they called up seemed almost surprise...revolted...I don't know...scared. So finally it's my turn....I put aside the fact that about 15 minutes before a girl had been bleeding in the water and brave the waters. Okay remember the guy from the confirmation room who was in a race?? Well somehow in the mayhem he had come in to do the baptisms and this is were the theory of his personality comes into play. Let's just say the dunking was a little intense...did I feel like he wanted to drown me...a little...luckily I only did 5 baptisms or else I would have have to stop him....whew...he was one intense man.

Okay...so this basically the end of the story. Tess decided to forgo taking a shower after the baptismal font and went straight to change into her normal clothes...not really realizing wet she truly was...eventually a pool of water formed at the bottom of the locker space and yeah...it was a traumatic moment for her...the perfect ending to this crazy experience. As soon as I walk out of my locker...Tess is standing there and says..."Let's get out of here". I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that about leaving the temple. We quickly headed out and got into the car and went over what just happened.

We were just looking for a little quiet, spiritual moment in the temple. What we got was a whole adventure....what ended up to be a three-hour adventure....

What in the world have I done....

So lately I've been having a hard time connecting with my "friends". It seems as though all of these people who have promised to be there for everything suddenly have no time. No matter how far in advance I plan or how I hard I work to make it happen it just never does. I'm wondering if this is a problem with me. Maybe I have enabled people by always planning the activities or making time to see or contact others. That must be it....I am too accommodating to people. I spend too much time trying to fit my life into others schedules so that they will talk/or hang out with me. It's not that I blame them. I understand that people have other lives but would it really kill anyone to be with a friend for just an hour or two. I supposed it might be...sorry, I'm ranting...this has been a serious issue on my mind though. A serious issue mostly because it has happened time and time again and I just can't seem to stop it. This is a vicious cycle of life for me and I'm wondering what in the heck I am doing so wrong....any advice would be great....maybe I'm just to whiny or something but I try not to be....

Just a Glimpse....

I've been thinking a lot lately about the course of my life. When I was a kid I wanted to be a million different things. Now I have no idea what I want to be. This issue does not only frustrate me but also my parent's greatly. I've tried to get into liking something as a career and I just can't do it. I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't much matter what I choose to do as long as I like it and I do it well. There is much trusting in the Lord that all will work out according to plan. During the past two years, I have met so many people and grown so much. There is very little doubt that the Lord has placed every person in my life for a reason and while sometimes it hurts to think back on things of the past I am grateful for the moments I spent with people who taught me more about myself. One thing I know for sure, no matter what lies in store for me in the next year or years to come I can always know that I am one thing....a daughter of God. No matter how hard the world will try to take the knowledge away from me I cannot falter and lose sight of that. There are so many things ahead of me and I cannot give up. Whatever I choose to be in life I must remember to keep the Lord in my life. He will direct me to good and lead me away from those things that will only harm me. He has not lead me astray so far....that is not to say it has always been easy in life. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of a living Savior in Jesus Christ who is willing to intercede in my behalf. He has already made up for my mistakes if I will but to my part I can be clean at the last day and stand before God to be judged. I will not give up and I cannot give up.....

A Lovely Story....

Inspiration: I went to a Salt Lake Bees game with my sister Shelly and observed a little scene while sitting in the grass of the outfield....

Man, I'm doing my best and she just won't notice me, thought John as he sat looking at the blonde girl of his dreams. With the blond hair and bubbly personality, Jessica was basically anyone's dream girl.

She had shifted around during the game, flirting with almost all the guys present about six total. Her friend Casey had sat by her side and made some minor progress with the fellows but basically ended but serving as a good wingwoman.

Suddenly out of the corner of his eye, John saw water being poured. As he looked over to witness the scene he notice that Jessica was wet and Chuck was very smug. Jessica of course was very concerned about being wet and somehow her attempts at payback were very unsuccessful. (the fact the Chuck was big enough to make a pretty good linebacker probably didn't help the 5'4" girl any)

Jessica came and sat down up the hill from Chuck.

"You probably shouldn't have done that," John said as he took a seat next to her.

"He's going to get it," Jessica said reaching for the last remaining bottle of water not listening to the quiet of John's reasoning.

As she started to open the bottle, John in his quick thinking grabbed the bottle to stop her from making a fool of herself. She fought back and eventually John let go knowing that he could do nothing more.

Chuck suddenly felt a lot of water fall on top of him. Being the proud man that he was, he took the attack in silence, waiting until the water stopped to dry off is expensive phone. John stepped to Chuck and helped him dry off his phone.

In a rage Chuck stormed off, Jessica was quick to follow leaving her high heels behind so she could find Chuck easier.

"Seriously," John said, frustrated at his position in life, "why would she follow after him." At this point he was seriously regretting his nice guy status in life.

Soon Jessica returned, for her shoes. After taking off the second time, John could see Jessica trying fervently to make amends with Chuck and Chuck staving off any attempt.

"That's it...let's go, " John began packing up all of the blankets and things for the group and the others helped with hesitation.

They walked off the grass and into the abyss of life....

Note: This is not great piece of fiction. This is a true story. Names have been changed to protect both the innocent and guilty. Actually, these could actually be their names...seeing as I have no clue who those people actually were I could have nailed them right on the head....

Article from High School...

I promised some old school stuff....here is a good one....don't judge....

Katie Hnida made history at University of New Mexico by being the first woman to play and score in a Division I-A football game. However, before her historic feat at UNM, Hnida faced another challenge, which she was unprepared to handle.

In 1999, Katie Hnida, not yet a New Mexico Lobo, was instead, a Colorado Buffalo doing what she had always dreamed of doing, playing football. Hnida was recruited by then Head Coach Rick Neuheisel, who soon left Colorado for Washington. Gary Barnett took over and immediately life became miserable for Hnida and her dream became a nightmare.

According to Barnett, "None of the players wanted her on the team. Basically we were doing her a favor." Greeted with that attitude Hnida was harassed by the players from the first practice. She claims that during practice five teammates surrounded her and verbally abused her, making sexually graphic comments.

That was not the end for Hnida. She endured unimaginable taunts during practice. The worst came at the home of a fellow “teammate” where Hnida claims she was raped. Hnida left Colorado and quit kicking for two years. She was depressed and although she told her family about the harassment, she never told her family, or anyone else, about being raped.

In 2002, Hnida braved her fears and walked on to the UNM football team where she was welcomed with open arms. ”I have not had a single problem with any of my teammates at UNM. I have not received any special treatment, nor did I request any. That's a credit to the type of program that Coach (Rocky) Long is running at New Mexico,” said Hnida in a press release telling her side of the Colorado story. .

It seems like a long time since that Colorado experience and Hnida is just recently able to tell the world of the Colorado nightmare. Apparently, Hnida was not the only woman to have a bad experience with the Colorado football program. Since Barnett took over in 1999, seven other women have come forward with allegations against the university claiming that they were sexually assaulted by Colorado football players. "Because all the news sent me back into that nightmare," she says. "It made me literally sick. I realized that until I tell my story, I can never heal."

Hnida picked an opportune time to tell her story. She was being interviewed by Sports Illustrated writer and Colorado alum Rick Reilly and told her story at Colorado. Word quickly spread and Colorado was put on the defensive with the school initially backing Barnett. Then Barnett broke under the pressure and shot back at Hnida; “It was obvious Katie was not very good. She was awful," he said. "Katie was not only a girl, she was terrible. OK? There's no other way to say it." Barnett was placed on paid leave and an interim head coach was put in his place.

There have also been reports that Colorado has called an escort service and strippers on multiple occasions to “entertain” during recruiting parties. These parties have also contributed to some of the sexual assaults allegations the university has faced and does face.

The status of CU has left colleges around the country scrambling to change their recruiting tactics so this will not happen to them. Miami has faced a similar problem where two of their recruits were arrested after leaving a recruiting party. While some universities are scrambling to catch up to the modern world of sexual harassment and underage drinking, some universities appear to have already addressed the issue.

Maybe the answer lies in the players themselves and their abilities to control their actions. Many critics have ridiculed Brigham Young University’s strict Honor Code, but now some are starting to think that the base idea of a signed Honor Code agreement would be appropriate. Sports writer Dennis Dodd says, “BYU's Honor Code would be a good template if the NCAA and its members were serious about cleaning up college sports.”

The real question comes down to this should women play football, and should recruits and athletes be allowed to romp on campus without consequence. Still the fight rages on and the alumni of Colorado can only do as Sports Illustrated writer Rick Reilly, hope for the best and “Hide [their] class ring[s].”

A little bit of Thanks....

So lately I've been thinking a lot about my youth and growing up. You know they say it takes a village to raise a child. I think it took a city to make me into who I am today. I owe so much to so many people...sometimes the pressure is overwhelming. Over the past two years I have learned so much about my self and everything it takes to make a person successful. I definitely didn't do it by myself. First of all, my parents are amazing. I know, I know, I complain about them being a little bit over-zealous about my life but as I grow older I understand that most of their nagging is truly for my good. Secondly, there was my ward family throughout the years. Those people are AMAZING!!! I have been so fortunate to come in contact with people who, from my birth, have been rooting for my success in life. Every time I go home I feel more support from those people than almost anyone I have met in Provo. They all want me to be the best person that I can be. Next, teachers. I have had my fair share of teachers throughout the years. Some have made me want to give up but others have harbored me has a fugitive and otherwise guided me through my life. Especially in high school when there were so many times that I thought my whole world would just collapse right in front of me. They took me in and cared way more than they had to. Finally, there are the friends who have seen me through thick and thin. This is a very small and elite group....friends have not been the greatest commodity in my life. Thank you to those who have stuck through everything that I have tossed out at them.

I have so much to be grateful for in life and I understand that overall I must thank my Father in Heaven for placing such people in my life. I could not have made it this far without them. I am so grateful for my Lord and personal Savior Jesus Christ. I am so glad to know that no matter what I am going through there is a perfect, living being who know exactly what I am feeling because He has felt that pain and is willing to help me carry my burdens. There is no way one can make it through life alone, so don't try. I have and it doesn't work and it isn't worth the pain that trying even causes...