What it means to be 27 and single...

This is a topic I've been thinking a lot about lately.  Not only have I been thinking about it but I've had three separate conversations about the topic. Naturally, being my true self, as I should probably be doing homework or sleeping right, I've decided now is the best time to get it all out there.

Over the past two months I've become more and more focused on the whys and what ifs of my dating life.  Why don't I go on dates? Why can't I find people to meet? What if I had done things differently at certain points in my life? Mostly the questioning boils down to, why am I not married? What is it about me that excludes me from the ultimate club?

Most of the time I'm pretty content at my station in life.  I have a college degree, a good job, I recently started an MBA program, and I have a great group of friends. Sometimes though, I begin to feel a creeping sense of inadequacy or maybe it's more guilt that I'm not married. Inevitably following in this line of thinking is a downward spiral of negative and extremely unproductive thinking.

I'm 27 and single.  A lot of my friends are married and have a child (or children in some cases). Why oh why is singleness the path for me?  I did everything stereotypically right in life. I went to church, got my Personal Progress, graduated from Seminary, got into and graduated from BYU, and am currently working on advancing my degree while continuing to be active in my ward to magnify my calling. This gives me some kind of pass to marriage right?? I mean that's what all of these things are for right?? The lessons they taught me in Young Women's and Seminary were only to prepare me to raise kids and upkeep a house right?? The single's ward is just a place for me to find an eternal companion right?

Oh I've been so very wrong.  The programs of the church aren't instituted to help us be the most eligible singles around (although being perfectly honest they actually accomplish this goal).  The lessons I learned in Young Women's were about making me more independent.  Learning how to cook and clean and (sort of) sew wasn't all about making me the best wife I could be.  It was teaching me how to live on my own so I could survive the stress and chaos of college life without having to worry about learning those on top of the other myriads of other life lessons that college life brings. Seminary was to teach me to love the scriptures and the lessons therein.  It was a way to get into the habit of studying the scriptures so that the scriptures could be a constant source of strength in my life.  I do understand that single's wards were created to provide the optimal environment for people to be married.  Trust me, that fact has not somehow passed my understanding.  Do you know what else I've learned in a single's ward? I've learned about love, compassion (two things I so desperately needed to learn), and leadership.  I continue to learn more about myself with each and every calling that I have. 

In the end, all of these things have combined, along with all of the people who put up with me along with way, to make me the me I have become.  In the end, being single and 27 isn't a sign that I'm damaged or lost or that I missed the boat.  It doesn't mean I'm worth less or that the sacrifices I've made have been in vain. It means that I have to trust in the Lord's timing.  I think this trust happens in everyone's lives at one point or another.  It may be that you are waiting for a child, you're waiting for a new job, you're waiting to get into school, or maybe you're waiting for something new and exciting in my life. There is always and always will be a need for us to trust in the Lord's timing.  This doesn't mean  however that I can sit back and wait for good things to come. I will never know what the best course of action will be until I take some step in some direction or have something to work towards.  Faith is a principle of action not a principle of waiting.  When you have moments of doubt or discouragement do you stand still and wait for some miraculous event to occur or do you do something about it and move forward in life?

In the end the message is this: Being 27 and single means that I have time to become my best self every day.  One day, I'll have the chance to become my best self with someone else.  Until that day, there is plenty of work to do.