Today started like any other day....work, studying you know the usual college type stuff. That all changed when my roommate Tess and I decided to go the Provo temple and do baptisms. Normally in Provo, the process is pretty smooth. Depending on the crowds I have been in and out in about 20 minutes or so...not so tonight.
We got to the temple at around 4:15 after I picked Tess up from playing at one of my other roommate's voice lessons. We walked in and it seemed a little crowded but we weren't too worried because we both wanted a little time to think and just relax in the normally quiet waiting area. Soon after we arrived a ward came in with about 20 youth. I'm pretty sure it was just a Beehive and Deacon activity because they all seemed to be very young children. This caused me a little anxiousness because I knew the temple would put them ahead of all of the people who had just walked in. Not too much of a big deal so I continued to read and contemplate life. Things all changed once we went to do confirmations and the recorder decided that he wanted to give a little talk about the temple...quite loudly. I found out later that he was hard of hearing and so it made a little more sense...but it was still really odd. So we go along about 10 of us in the room just going through the process. After a few people come a new, younger guy comes in to do some of the confirmations...and wow...if he would have been in a race he would have won...he was going through names like he had someplace to be. I think I've come to the conclusion that this much just be part of his personality (you'll understand later).
So after that step we went back into the waiting area to wait for the actual baptism part. I go and sit by Tess who assures me that she was told by someone to sit there....the only problem was...it wasn't the right person apparently. Soon we see people who were confirmed after us go to the front of the chapel and sit in what was really the line for the baptistery . Finally, after about 6 people get in front of us in line we move up to the right line....the ward was still working on getting their boys through the line and for a moment we were content to sit for a moment again.
When we finally got called to go into the baptistery a whole new game began. To get from the waiting area to the baptismal font you have to go back through the dressing room...on our way through a temple worker stops us and tells Tess that she has earrings in and Tess assure her that it is okay because she has worn them before and there hasn't been a problem. Not happy the lady insists that they don't allow any jewelry in the font so Tess looks and me and then of course I have to have something wrong. For the sake of my sanity...I had chosen to put bobby pins in my hair...apparently not so much okay with this particular temple worker...ah...so close...so Tess and I headed back to our locker and put our contrabands away.
On our way back to the font there is a lady there looking desperately for a temple worker. Uhh....let's not really go into this part....we'll go with she needed a article of clothing and we helped her out....end of story...
Finally we get to the waiting bench. Only the problem now is that we have all of these couples coming in to do family names. First the wife goes (who was wearing her wedding ring...) and the husband baptizes and then a temple worker steps in and baptizes the husband. It was quite the process. Meanwhile, the people who are there on stand-by...at this point that's how it feels....keep moving up the bench down the bench. Right before you go into the font there are three chairs away from the benches...that's like golden territory because you are almost there...Tess got the to chairs and then they told us all to move back to the benches. It was an interesting move because one of the witnesses wanted us to move and the other rolled his eyes at him...I sense some hostility there....
Okay so we are sitting on the benches and all of the sudden this guys comes out from the men's locker room and heads down to the bottom of the font area. If you haven't been to the Provo temple....the font sits on the back of 12 oxen and the oxen are on like a different level than the normal floor. The benches were we were sitting are up on the top level and there is like a glass railing thing that keeps people from falling off....anyway...it's some random maintanance guy going to check on something. It was the straw that broke the camel's back....I am somewhat ashamed to say this but I start laughing histerically....quietly but histerically...my whole body was shaking and I was tearing up. Just so you know I'm not crazy Tess was laughing too. Meanwhile, I'm thinking "I've got to sing a hymn or something...Deep breaths..." Unfortunately the only song that came to mind was "In Our Lovely Deseret"....the chorus....hark hark hark tis children's music...the laughter continues....I finally regain myself and we move up...things are looking up for an ending to this experience...and then....
The girl two people in front of us was finally going when one of the witnesses tells her that she has to get out...confused and I think a little embarrassed she starts to get out when she realizes she has a bloody nose....I'm not talking like a single strand of blood here...it was like a fountain...the man hands her a towel and she of course bleeds on it...and the lady who hands out the towels freaks out like the towels are made of gold or something. The worker starts looking for a rag while this girl is standing there...wet, cold, bleeding profusly and I'm sure as embarrassed as heck. I can't help myself...laughter ensues...I mean seriously...this is insane.
Now this is a somewhat gross part and I hope that that girl's blood is clean....instead of cleaning the water like is normal procedure they just keep doing baptisms!!! The girl who they called up seemed almost surprise...revolted...I don't know...scared. So finally it's my turn....I put aside the fact that about 15 minutes before a girl had been bleeding in the water and brave the waters. Okay remember the guy from the confirmation room who was in a race?? Well somehow in the mayhem he had come in to do the baptisms and this is were the theory of his personality comes into play. Let's just say the dunking was a little intense...did I feel like he wanted to drown me...a little...luckily I only did 5 baptisms or else I would have have to stop him....whew...he was one intense man.
Okay...so this basically the end of the story. Tess decided to forgo taking a shower after the baptismal font and went straight to change into her normal clothes...not really realizing wet she truly was...eventually a pool of water formed at the bottom of the locker space and yeah...it was a traumatic moment for her...the perfect ending to this crazy experience. As soon as I walk out of my locker...Tess is standing there and says..."Let's get out of here". I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that about leaving the temple. We quickly headed out and got into the car and went over what just happened.
We were just looking for a little quiet, spiritual moment in the temple. What we got was a whole adventure....what ended up to be a three-hour adventure....
2 comments:
That is quite the adventure. Once you get into the temple, you are somewhat at the mercy of the people (and their idiosyncracies) who are working that day. Glad you made it through okay.
oh man...i'm busting up just thinking about it again.
Post a Comment