Just a Glimpse....

I've been thinking a lot lately about the course of my life. When I was a kid I wanted to be a million different things. Now I have no idea what I want to be. This issue does not only frustrate me but also my parent's greatly. I've tried to get into liking something as a career and I just can't do it. I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't much matter what I choose to do as long as I like it and I do it well. There is much trusting in the Lord that all will work out according to plan. During the past two years, I have met so many people and grown so much. There is very little doubt that the Lord has placed every person in my life for a reason and while sometimes it hurts to think back on things of the past I am grateful for the moments I spent with people who taught me more about myself. One thing I know for sure, no matter what lies in store for me in the next year or years to come I can always know that I am one thing....a daughter of God. No matter how hard the world will try to take the knowledge away from me I cannot falter and lose sight of that. There are so many things ahead of me and I cannot give up. Whatever I choose to be in life I must remember to keep the Lord in my life. He will direct me to good and lead me away from those things that will only harm me. He has not lead me astray so far....that is not to say it has always been easy in life. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of a living Savior in Jesus Christ who is willing to intercede in my behalf. He has already made up for my mistakes if I will but to my part I can be clean at the last day and stand before God to be judged. I will not give up and I cannot give up.....

A Lovely Story....

Inspiration: I went to a Salt Lake Bees game with my sister Shelly and observed a little scene while sitting in the grass of the outfield....

Man, I'm doing my best and she just won't notice me, thought John as he sat looking at the blonde girl of his dreams. With the blond hair and bubbly personality, Jessica was basically anyone's dream girl.

She had shifted around during the game, flirting with almost all the guys present about six total. Her friend Casey had sat by her side and made some minor progress with the fellows but basically ended but serving as a good wingwoman.

Suddenly out of the corner of his eye, John saw water being poured. As he looked over to witness the scene he notice that Jessica was wet and Chuck was very smug. Jessica of course was very concerned about being wet and somehow her attempts at payback were very unsuccessful. (the fact the Chuck was big enough to make a pretty good linebacker probably didn't help the 5'4" girl any)

Jessica came and sat down up the hill from Chuck.

"You probably shouldn't have done that," John said as he took a seat next to her.

"He's going to get it," Jessica said reaching for the last remaining bottle of water not listening to the quiet of John's reasoning.

As she started to open the bottle, John in his quick thinking grabbed the bottle to stop her from making a fool of herself. She fought back and eventually John let go knowing that he could do nothing more.

Chuck suddenly felt a lot of water fall on top of him. Being the proud man that he was, he took the attack in silence, waiting until the water stopped to dry off is expensive phone. John stepped to Chuck and helped him dry off his phone.

In a rage Chuck stormed off, Jessica was quick to follow leaving her high heels behind so she could find Chuck easier.

"Seriously," John said, frustrated at his position in life, "why would she follow after him." At this point he was seriously regretting his nice guy status in life.

Soon Jessica returned, for her shoes. After taking off the second time, John could see Jessica trying fervently to make amends with Chuck and Chuck staving off any attempt.

"That's it...let's go, " John began packing up all of the blankets and things for the group and the others helped with hesitation.

They walked off the grass and into the abyss of life....

Note: This is not great piece of fiction. This is a true story. Names have been changed to protect both the innocent and guilty. Actually, these could actually be their names...seeing as I have no clue who those people actually were I could have nailed them right on the head....

Article from High School...

I promised some old school stuff....here is a good one....don't judge....

Katie Hnida made history at University of New Mexico by being the first woman to play and score in a Division I-A football game. However, before her historic feat at UNM, Hnida faced another challenge, which she was unprepared to handle.

In 1999, Katie Hnida, not yet a New Mexico Lobo, was instead, a Colorado Buffalo doing what she had always dreamed of doing, playing football. Hnida was recruited by then Head Coach Rick Neuheisel, who soon left Colorado for Washington. Gary Barnett took over and immediately life became miserable for Hnida and her dream became a nightmare.

According to Barnett, "None of the players wanted her on the team. Basically we were doing her a favor." Greeted with that attitude Hnida was harassed by the players from the first practice. She claims that during practice five teammates surrounded her and verbally abused her, making sexually graphic comments.

That was not the end for Hnida. She endured unimaginable taunts during practice. The worst came at the home of a fellow “teammate” where Hnida claims she was raped. Hnida left Colorado and quit kicking for two years. She was depressed and although she told her family about the harassment, she never told her family, or anyone else, about being raped.

In 2002, Hnida braved her fears and walked on to the UNM football team where she was welcomed with open arms. ”I have not had a single problem with any of my teammates at UNM. I have not received any special treatment, nor did I request any. That's a credit to the type of program that Coach (Rocky) Long is running at New Mexico,” said Hnida in a press release telling her side of the Colorado story. .

It seems like a long time since that Colorado experience and Hnida is just recently able to tell the world of the Colorado nightmare. Apparently, Hnida was not the only woman to have a bad experience with the Colorado football program. Since Barnett took over in 1999, seven other women have come forward with allegations against the university claiming that they were sexually assaulted by Colorado football players. "Because all the news sent me back into that nightmare," she says. "It made me literally sick. I realized that until I tell my story, I can never heal."

Hnida picked an opportune time to tell her story. She was being interviewed by Sports Illustrated writer and Colorado alum Rick Reilly and told her story at Colorado. Word quickly spread and Colorado was put on the defensive with the school initially backing Barnett. Then Barnett broke under the pressure and shot back at Hnida; “It was obvious Katie was not very good. She was awful," he said. "Katie was not only a girl, she was terrible. OK? There's no other way to say it." Barnett was placed on paid leave and an interim head coach was put in his place.

There have also been reports that Colorado has called an escort service and strippers on multiple occasions to “entertain” during recruiting parties. These parties have also contributed to some of the sexual assaults allegations the university has faced and does face.

The status of CU has left colleges around the country scrambling to change their recruiting tactics so this will not happen to them. Miami has faced a similar problem where two of their recruits were arrested after leaving a recruiting party. While some universities are scrambling to catch up to the modern world of sexual harassment and underage drinking, some universities appear to have already addressed the issue.

Maybe the answer lies in the players themselves and their abilities to control their actions. Many critics have ridiculed Brigham Young University’s strict Honor Code, but now some are starting to think that the base idea of a signed Honor Code agreement would be appropriate. Sports writer Dennis Dodd says, “BYU's Honor Code would be a good template if the NCAA and its members were serious about cleaning up college sports.”

The real question comes down to this should women play football, and should recruits and athletes be allowed to romp on campus without consequence. Still the fight rages on and the alumni of Colorado can only do as Sports Illustrated writer Rick Reilly, hope for the best and “Hide [their] class ring[s].”

A little bit of Thanks....

So lately I've been thinking a lot about my youth and growing up. You know they say it takes a village to raise a child. I think it took a city to make me into who I am today. I owe so much to so many people...sometimes the pressure is overwhelming. Over the past two years I have learned so much about my self and everything it takes to make a person successful. I definitely didn't do it by myself. First of all, my parents are amazing. I know, I know, I complain about them being a little bit over-zealous about my life but as I grow older I understand that most of their nagging is truly for my good. Secondly, there was my ward family throughout the years. Those people are AMAZING!!! I have been so fortunate to come in contact with people who, from my birth, have been rooting for my success in life. Every time I go home I feel more support from those people than almost anyone I have met in Provo. They all want me to be the best person that I can be. Next, teachers. I have had my fair share of teachers throughout the years. Some have made me want to give up but others have harbored me has a fugitive and otherwise guided me through my life. Especially in high school when there were so many times that I thought my whole world would just collapse right in front of me. They took me in and cared way more than they had to. Finally, there are the friends who have seen me through thick and thin. This is a very small and elite group....friends have not been the greatest commodity in my life. Thank you to those who have stuck through everything that I have tossed out at them.

I have so much to be grateful for in life and I understand that overall I must thank my Father in Heaven for placing such people in my life. I could not have made it this far without them. I am so grateful for my Lord and personal Savior Jesus Christ. I am so glad to know that no matter what I am going through there is a perfect, living being who know exactly what I am feeling because He has felt that pain and is willing to help me carry my burdens. There is no way one can make it through life alone, so don't try. I have and it doesn't work and it isn't worth the pain that trying even causes...

Home...

I would just like to state for the record that I love coming home. Living in a crazy college world there is so much liquidity in life. You move usually once a year...the people around you are constantly changing and you are always trying to impress someone. I came home on Wednesday for a little vacation and man am I feeling good. While being home is not always perfect (nagging parents, lack of social scene) it brings me back to some solid ground. I don't have to try to impress the people here...the already know and love me. I wish I could find somewhere like that in Provo. I have good friends but even that seems to be a little fluid these days. I am grateful for my roommates and Shayla for keeping me on track but there is never anyone who can match the security of home. Every time I go to leave home I always want to cry because I am once again leaving my safe nest and going off into the dark lonely abyss that I call college. One thing is definitely for sure....I never would have missed home if I had never moved away from it.....

Missionary Homecomings....

I went to the airport to pick up my mom today and was surprised to find a number of families anxiously awaiting the return of their missionaries. One family didn't seem quite right to have a missionary and I soon realized that they were actually waiting for a serviceman to come home. The serviceman came home first and it was so amazing to see his wife run to him....his kids had been asking their mom every 10 seconds when their dad would be there and she kept telling them 10 minutes as if that would stop them from asking again. The youngest daughter wouldn't let the dad hold her which was a little sad but so true of most young kids with dad's at war. That was when the tears started....not a full on cry put I had tears....it was somewhat embarrassing. Then out of the floodgates came the missionaries. The first person to hug every single on of the missionaries was their mother. Almost simultaneously the mothers started to cry as their suns came out from behind security. Once again I had to hold myself together....it was truly a beautiful sight...

The Return of Me....

So I've been feeling a little out of character lately and so have not found the time to update this amazing piece of work called blog. It's been a crazy couple of weeks....It started with a trip...the details of which will eventually be posted as well but for now just know that there was a trip...to Missouri/Illinois where my dad fell and hurt his hip...eventually it cracked and all "heck" broke loose. Everything is on the mend but it was a tough couple of weeks but we all got through it. I've decided that more than anything I hate making friends...that sounds stupid I realize but the whole process is just a little bit crazy. You move to a new place and basically have to start all over...and well I'm just going to say I suck at making friends...I am just no good. I always try to be witty but end up saying something stupid instead. Luckily I move with people who have skills and hence latch on to their friends....I hate socialness....